I don't like spiders or snakes and that ain't what it takes to love me...

I know, I know...there are other subjects that I need to blog about long before this one.  But this one is about something that just happened and I just had to share it!  For those of you who know the gentle-gecko-goo-removal side of my husband, here is another facet of the man.  The determined hunter and protector. 

It's been one of those if-you-give-a-mouse-a-cookie kind of mornings...and an old Jim Stafford song is playing in my head.   

We have a tall plastic cart with drawers that sits next to our stove.  I had formerly used this cart in the study to hold office supplies but this kitchen has no drawers at all, so I use it now to hold all my kitchen utensils, dish towels, pot holders, etc.
About 6:10 this morning, Jim went to pour himself a cup of coffee...the coffee pot sits on the counter right next to this cart...and he noticed movement out of the corner of his eye on top of the cart.  There was a small garter-type snake that had laid claim to that spot!  Jim grabbed the fly-swatter to try to hold it down and grab it but the fly-swatter was too flexible to do the job and the snake was too flexible to be held.  It jumped, leaped, fell...whatever...it hit the floor and promptly slithered right into the back of the stove.
Mind you, I was still fast asleep at that time and knew nothing of what was going on in the kitchen.  I usually get up shortly after Jim but I have not slept well the last few nights so I guess I was extra tired and just kept sleeping on...totally oblivious to the Wild Kingdom adventure taking place in the cocina.
When I finally woke up (a few minutes before 8:00 a.m. mind you!), I was startled to see how late it was.  I got up, went out towards the kitchen to get a cup of coffee, fully prepared to apologize to my husband for sleeping so late, only to see my kitchen stove in pieces all over the floor.  My eyes were open and I was walking but I don't think I was yet fully awake.  I looked at Jim, as he was graciously pouring me a cup of coffee, and could tell he was trying to think of a how to tell me what was going on just as I was trying to comprehend why my stove was in the middle of the floor with various parts of it laying all about. 
The last time the stove was pulled out, there was a mouse that had gotten inside of it and that's what I was beginning to assume had happened again.  Jim handed me my cup of coffee and said, very calmly, "There's a snake in the oven."  Obviously, he had thought that statement through.  
"What???" I gasped.
"There's a snake in the oven."
"A snake?  How did a snake get in the oven?  How did it get in the house?  How do you know it's in the oven?"
"I'm not really sure how he got in there but I'm pretty sure that's where he is."  Jim's a one question-at-a-time-kind of guy. 
"Pretty sure???"
"Yeah, I don't know how he got in the house..."
"Are you SURE he's in the oven and didn't get away somewhere else in the kitchen?" 
"Yeah...pretty sure."
I am not a "pretty sure" kind of gal.  I want a definite "yes" or "no" and a lot of explanation to accompany either one.  Jim is not much of an explainer, patient as he is...especially when he's been trying for the last few hours to catch, lure, coax or chase a snake out of the oven.
I then asked the next logical question, "If you can't find him, does this mean I get a new stove?"
Due to my astuteness (assisted by Jim's giving of "that look", I realized all of my questions were not an asset at the moment and so I stood and watched silently (more or less) as he continued to slowly remove pieces of the stove, one at a time. 
Finally, the fog of my sleeping late lifted after a few slurps of coffee, and I had to venture one more question..."Don't you think it would be a good idea to take the stove out back and do that?  What if he gets out and you can't catch him in time?  Or what if you try to hit him with something and you break a floor tile?"  The one more question obviously took on a life of its own and grew quickly into more. 
But, Jim saw the wisdom in that suggestion and moved the stove out to the patio area and continued his disassembling.  I decided to go take a shower and stay as far away from the process and the snake as possible.  I hollered out one more suggestion..."Hook the stove up again and light it...don't you think he'll come out then?"  I heard some mumbling and then, "I hope he would come out."  That ranks on the same level as "Pretty sure."
I got in the shower.  Within minutes, I heard something pounding against the concrete edge of the patio and then repeated whacks on the gravel.  I hollered at Jim if he got it and his tired but joyous reply was, "Yeah!!  Thank you, Lord!!"  I echoed those same thanks from the shower!
Of course, I rapidly got dressed so I could go see what I had envisioned to be a snake of pythonic proportions.  It was much smaller...even if it would have still had it's head attached.  But it was still every bit as unwelcome.
It seems as though Jim decided to disregard my suggestion of roasting the creature and opted to tip the stove up on its side to see if it was on the bottom side of the stove.  As he did, the snake dropped down and began slithering away.  He had one of my big wooden cooking spoons and used it to trap it and then finished it off with the machete. 
That would have been the lovely ending to the story...but there was still a stove to reassemble and a floor to clean (note to self: the stove should be moved out more frequently than when there's a resident rodent or reptile). This also led to sweeping all the floors and scrubbing down the plastic cart to remove any possible remains of snake cooties which then naturally led to cleaning and returning to its proper home, all the other paraphernalia that was somehow needed in this reptilian removal.
I am so grateful that I have a husband who will let his wife sleep-in, even when he's in the midst of trying to extricate a stealthy, sneaky, stove-seeking snake, who perseveres in the hunt (the thought of buying a new stove might have helped with that motivation somewhat), who is not going to rest until he has caught his prey and who did not argue when I said, "Throw the spoon away."  
Oh, how I love that man of mine!  He knows I don't like spiders or snakes!    

Again...

I have come to the conclusion that Facebook has not been conducive to blog writing…at least not for me, it hasn’t!  I love keeping up with everyone on Facebook…and I love being able to write a quick synopsis of our day…Facebook makes it easy.  Blogspot does not.  But, sadly, I’m not a good multi-tasker when it comes to my writing and so it seems that I’ve opted for Facebook in place of blogging.  Or I should say, I have for the past year…I’m going to attempt to change that somewhat and hopefully, become more balanced with both.

It has been brought to my attention (more than once…kindly, gently, not-so-kindly and not-so-gently) by more than one person that I need to get back to the blog since there are folks who don’t have Facebook and don’t want to have it.  I admire their stance.  I once had a similar one…I caved.  And so, when it comes to blogging…I begin again.  Yet again. 

Life has been more than fast-paced for us the last few weeks.  We flew back to Nicaragua on Wednesday, March 12^th and it feels like we hit the ground running.  Thanks to a friend, we had the a/c in our car fixed while we were State-side but had to have something concerning it tweaked and tightened before returning to Somoto.  We also had some business we had to which we had to attend, some shopping to do and a meeting to attend.  So, we actually didn’t make it up to Somoto until Friday, the 14^th. 

Since then, we have been crazy busy!  We have been trying to get things ready for the FBC Cassville team’s arrival which is this next Sunday, March 31^st.  We also are involved in the wedding of our very dear and special friends, Raquel (the director of CINAFE) and Miguel Angel, who are getting married the night before the team arrives!  We have several roles of responsibility in the wedding so it’s more than just our showing up…and, as great of an honor that is, that we’ve been asked to participate in their special day, it’s also added somewhat to the stress level on our end.  Plus, that time commitment has made things even more challenging with the timing and preparation for this team.  But, God has paved the way for us and helped us through each of the challenges, so far, and I have no reason to think He won’t continue to do so!  

The night we got home, it was so nice to be here and to be mosquito free…it didn’t take long for them to find us again!  The other things we noticed that night were all the new cracks in the walls.  I know that there were some tremors while we were gone but I wonder if a lot of it isn’t just the house settling.  Cracks are just part of a concrete block house…but some of ours are of a pretty healthy size.  It will be interesting to see what happens when the rains come again. 

A day after being home, our freezer quit working.  That’s a huge thing for us as we depend greatly on that freezer.  We managed to salvage most everything and had to wait a few days for the freezer repair guy to come as he was on the east coast working.  Thankfully, the problem turned out to be a very simple fix and we didn’t need to buy any parts.  That was such a huge blessing…freezers are considered a definite luxury here and the parts to repair them are priced accordingly! 

The saga of the water tank is about to come to an end…I hope!  Trying to get someone to install one has been somewhat of a Herculean task, it seems.  We were told it would be better to wait until the dry season so that the concrete pad could set up without a problem.  So, we waited.  Then when we got the estimate to have it installed, it was more than double what we had thought it would be.  So, we decided to revamp our plan for installation to bring the cost down considerably.  Unfortunately, that didn’t help with finding someone to actually show up to do the work!   

But, after numerous failed attempts, our friend Hermes finally brought a man named Tonio over who said he would do the concrete work…and for a very reasonable price.   Jim liked him and so he and Tonio agreed upon the day he would arrive.  Our responsibility was to get the materials delivered and to get the water tank delivered.  So, we did both of those things…which never is as simple as it should be. 

 The day came when Tonio was to be at our house at 7:00 a.m. to make the concrete pad.  He still hadn’t come by 7:30, but we weren’t terribly concerned as that’s about par for the course.  By 9:00 a.m. though, we figured out he wasn’t coming.   Jim called Hermes to see if he could find out what had happened with Tonio and a little bit later, Hermes came by to tell us that he had talked with Tonio’s wife and apparently, he had forgotten and had gone to work at another job that day.  

I am pretty sure my frustration was apparent because a few hours later, Tonio came by and apologized to Jim for forgetting and promised he would be there the next day.  And this time, he was good for his word.  He brought another worker with him so that they could get the job done before it got really hot.  And, it looks as though they did a good job.

The concrete should be cured to the point that we should be able to install the tank tomorrow.  In order to save some expense, Jim’s going to do the plumbing part himself.  I know he’ll show up!  So, if all goes well, we should have a working water tank in place within a couple of days.  I can hardly wait!!  We lose our water on a daily basis these days and it will be so nice to have a reserve from which we can draw.

We’ve started back to school in El Melonar.  Enrollment is up for this year which is very encouraging.  We have 28 students in the morning class and the pre-school class has 19.  Our afternoon class has stayed consistent with the same kids from last year.  The change that I’ve noticed most is that the children have been so unruly this year.  They aren’t really being “bad”, but neither are they nearly as well-behaved as they were last year.  It has made teaching much more of a challenge and exhausting.  I think we’re going to have to work on manners and behavior again this year because it seems that many have forgotten which has been disappointing.  I am praying that the Lord will give me wisdom and some great ideas as to how to address this in a manner that brings about the desired results.  I love these kids and want to see them succeed…in every aspect of their education. 

We have also been immersed in trying to get the baking project underway in El Melonar.  This opportunity is a result of the generosity of a group of women from FBC Cassville.  We have had enough money donated to build an oven in the community.  That alone fired me up and I am so excited about this opportunity for those ladies who will benefit from this wonderful gift. 

But, the difference in cultures has been very evident in working towards that goal of helping those ladies get a business started there.  Without going in to all the details, the bottom line is that we are soon going to find out who has the motivation, drive and determination to see this through and who is going to let their fear and sense of being comfortable in their present circumstances dominate.

Tired from a full morning of learning

There are five women who have shown an interest and we have obtained two days worth of training for them.  But, none of them have any business experience nor are any of them natural born leaders.  So, we have learned that this is going to be a teaching project in more ways than just learning how to make bread which translates in to taking much more time than we had originally planned and a ton more patience and encouragement. 

In the kitchen, learning to make rolls

Marta

We were out at El Melonar at 6:30 yesterday morning to pick these 5 ladies up to take them to Cacauli (another community about 20 minutes away) to spend the morning learning the intricacies of baking in one of these outside beehive ovens.   

The lady who is teaching them grew up learning and practicing this skill as her mother also was a baker.  Marta is a sweet person and was very kind when we spoke with her about hiring her to teach these gals.  She is not only full of knowledge, she is such a great encourager and I’m so grateful the Lord led us to her for this task.

Headed home!

We will pick the ladies up again in the morning (Wed.) and they will have another morning of lessons with Marta.  After that, we will see if they are ready for the next step and that’s to begin the building the process.  There are several men in the community who are also interested in this project…and very excited about the prospect of another similar opportunity in the community.  The thought of keeping El Melonar alive as a viable and self-sustaining community has energized so many there…others, of course, have a wait-and-see attitude.  We will just keep moving forward as long as that’s the direction the Lord leads!     

We also met last week with five young ladies from El Melonar whose college tuitions are now being funded by some ladies at FBC Cassville.  What an amazing gift this is to these girls!  They were so excited that the worry of paying tuition for this year has now been lifted from their shoulders. 

We also have supplied each one of the girls with the necessary school supplies they need and they were so grateful.  One of the girls is especially good about expressing her thanks and she’s probably the one who needs the help the most.  it’s always a joy to do something for her and she makes it so easy to do so. 

The girls have agreed to volunteer two hours a week with helping at the school which will benefit Prof. Mario, the students, the community at large and themselves.  These are new concepts for them and three of the five have embraced the idea whole-heartedly…the other two will come around although I know it will take some time for their attitude and their gratitude to match their words!  Volunteering in that way is just not something that is normal in this culture, but, I have no doubt they will see the benefit of giving back.

L-R: Claudia who is studying to be a nurse, Tania and Franlie are studying to be teachers, Lourdes and Nohelia are studying to be English teachers

So, for the most part, those are the highlights of what we’ve been doing the last two weeks.  Some of the smaller projects have included cutting out and organizing our new Betty Luken's Bible Felt Board Set…another greatly appreciated gift which we received while Stateside.  It is a beautiful set with wonderfully vivid colors and we are so excited to begin our new story time with the kids using this set…that’s scheduled to begin after our time with the FBC Cassville team.     

We also have had to spend some time in the garden, trying to clean up, dead-head, nurse some neglected plants back to health. 

Jim installed a small ceiling fan in the kitchen!  That has been a lifesaver the last few days as the temps have been so hot…95 degrees actual…who knows what the heat index has been?  I just know it has been ridiculously hot!  Even with the ceiling fan on the highest speed and our oscillating floor fan going full blast, it’s been difficult to sleep at night. 

We had to go pay the tuition at a private school for a little girl that a friend who lives in Managua is sponsoring.  That is always an ordeal…it is not an organized or a rapid process. 

We had a week of daily visitors…almost all were unexpected, including a couple from Germany who has expressed an interest in working in El Melonar.  They were a lovely young couple and it was a pleasure to meet them.  The word seemed to spread quickly that we were back home. 

So, that’s a pretty concise summary of our last two weeks…at least it’s somewhat concise for the lover-of-words me!  I will not promise that I will return to the same prolific posts that I had in the early days of my blogging…time is always an issue for me…I wish I was a brief writer but I’m not.  Twitter and I would never get along!  J

Thank you for coming to visit us here at the blog!  Until next time! 

Kenneth...

The last few days have been difficult.  I'm not sure how coherent this is going to be...I'm filled with so much emotion and don't seem to be able to get it out as well as I would like.  

This past weekend, I told Jim I felt like we needed to go check on Kenneth.  I couldn’t explain why, but I was feeling uneasy.  So Tuesday, we made the decision to go to Managua on Wednesday.  I canceled our Thursday classes and rearranged our schedule for other things. 

Wednesday morning, I called Danelia.  I thought it was Kenneth who answered the phone and although the voice was soft, I was surprised it was as strong as it was.  I asked if it was Kenneth and there was no answer and so I then asked for Danelia.  I was told she had gone to buy something so I just said that we would be there the next day and was told that was fine and the phone call was over.  That very brief and mainly one-sided conversation left me with the idea that although Kenneth sounded weaker, he still sounded much better than I had anticipated after receiving Dr. Ortiz’s e-mail and for just a moment, I reconsidered the idea of making the trip.  Thankfully, we stayed with our plans to go.

I had decided my uneasy feelings were just my imagination getting the best of me and so we left Wednesday afternoon for Managua in good spirits.  We went directly to Susanna’s house and unloaded the car and dropped Pixie off.   Susanna is always so gracious to let us stay with her now when we are in town and it is such a blessing to not have to worry about the trouble and expense of hotel accommodations.  We then headed out to do our Managua errands. 

Thursday morning, we stopped by the grocery store so we could get some fresh fruit to take with us to Kenneth and the family and I picked out all the things that I knew were his favorites…nice fresh bananas, apples, grapes, plums and limones for juice.   We also grabbed a Spiderman cake and a couple of books (one for Lindsey) as an early birthday present for Kenneth in case we couldn’t make it back the end of this month.

When we got to Danelia’s she told me that Kenneth was out back because it was so hot in the house (and it was brutally hot there Thursday).  We walked out back and Kenneth had his back to me, sitting in the rocker with pillows all around him.  I said hi to him as I walked around the side of the chair and could not believe what I saw. 

Kenneth was so terribly thin and his eyes were vacant…looking, but not really taking anything in and he was basically disengaged, although awake.  His cheeks were sunken in and his mouth had sores covering the inside of his lips.  He was bone thin…literally.  I could not believe how much he had deteriorated since we had seen him the last time we were there…which was a little over a month ago.  He seemed so exhausted that even holding his head up appeared to take such effort and his eyes kept closing although he wasn’t really sleeping.    

Kenneth had on a t-shirt and nothing else sitting with his knees bent so that his legs were up in the chair and a fan was just a foot away, blowing directly on him.  His groin area looked as though someone had poured scalding water on him.  Even through the thick white burn cream that was smeared all over the “burned” area, it was easy to see that he should be in terrible pain with this. 

When I asked her what had happened, Danelia explained that the doctor said that the combination of keeping him in the diapers all the time, his constant strong diarrhea (caused by his meds), the natural heat of sitting and not being able to get up and move around, the unbearable heat wave that had hit plus his zero immune system had provided the Perfect Storm, so to speak, for a horribly gaulded young man.   His skin is breaking down and more and more pressure sores are now starting to appear.  There was a small-fist-sized growth that was protruding from his chest with the skin stretched so tightly against it that the veins could be clearly seen.  Much of his skin seemed to be taking on a more translucent quality.  I couldn’t believe what I was seeing…the child I was looking at barely resembled the Kenneth we know. 

I wanted to burst in to tears at that moment.  I wanted to collapse in a heap and refuse to see what I was seeing.  I wanted to scream and to be angry at everyone and everything.  I wanted to scoop him up and smuggle him back to the States.  I want him strong and well and whole.  I want what I want.  God wants something different.  And so, I took a deep breath, glanced at Jim and saw on his face the same expression that I feared must have been on my own and realized this wasn’t what Danelia needed to see at the moment.  So, I pulled up a chair and sat down next to Kenneth, and began gently stroking his face and his arms. 

I kissed his forehead and asked how he was.  He whispered, “un poco major”…a little better.  There, hidden inside that broken, deteriorating shell, I found Kenneth.  He didn’t look better.  He didn’t sound better.  He certainly didn’t feel better…but even in his semi-shutdown state, he was positive.   That’s our boy…that’s the boy I have fallen in love with and the one I struggle to release to the One I know loves him even more than his family does, than we do.

I showed him his cake and one corner of his mouth turned up the tiniest bit.  I showed him the book we got him…he wasn’t even strong enough to hold it.  I then showed him the package that we had received for him from two very special little twin girls, Audrey and Taylor, who have been praying for Kenneth.  They had sent their pictures, drawings, a Hot Wheel truck and a card which I read and translated for him.  I showed him the part their mother, Jaclyn, had written and then where each of the girls had said that they loved him and were praying for him and had signed their names.  He couldn’t quite stay focused but I think he understood.   I know Danelia did.  I looked up and her eyes were filled with tears. 

We stayed for awhile and talked with Danelia.  That's when I found out that it was Lindsey that had answered the phone when I called the day before...which made so much more sense when I thought about it.  I had been having such a difficult time in trying to reconcile the strength that I had heard the day before with the weakness I could see before me.   

Lindsey was clingy and so I played with her, held her, snuggled with her (in that ridiculously oppressive heat) and kissed on her.  After awhile, she seemed content to watch the t.v. with its grainy, fuzzy picture along with Ezekiel, her cousin who is the same age and lives next door.  Kenneth would open his eyes periodically but it seemed that most of his efforts were concentrated on just being.  His breathing was rapid and labored.

Danelia told me all about their visit to the doctor the previous Friday…this is the visit where Dr. Ortiz had e-mailed me afterwards.  Danelia had called the doctor a few days before and told her about Kenneth’s “rash” in his groin area.  The doctor told her that since his appt. was in just a couple of days that they could wait until then. 

Arturo had taken off work to go with them that Friday.  They had a terrible time trying to get a taxi to agree to take them to the hospital…those who would, either wanted to charge them an exorbitant fare or to charge them an extra person charge for the wheelchair.  Seriously.

The rest of what I will share must be filtered through the knowledge that this is coming from a woman who is losing her child to a lengthy battle with cancer, who is more exhausted than any words could convey, who has had to deal with more challenges that have taken her far past the point that would have probably broken the rest of us and a woman who knows that she has no other recourse at this point than to watch her dearly loved son die.

Without going in to all the details, I will highlight what that last appointment was like for this family.  Although Dr. Ortiz is a very good oncologist, she is not good at comforting or consoling nor is she a believer in our God who cares for His children.  She and Danelia have butted heads from Day One and evidently, this last appointment was not much different. 

There were discussions about what the doctor perceived as a delay in seeking treatment for Kenneth’s latest skin condition.  Danelia’s response was that she had brought him in when directed and then he had to sit for four hours in a diaper that could not be changed before he was seen.  She reminded the doctor that it was not easy for them to get there.  She also reminded her that it would be much easier to just bring Kenneth there and leave him at the hospital but that is not what any of them want to do.  She loves her son and wants to take care of him and she believes she can do a better job of tending to his needs than a nurse who occasionally comes in to the room to check on whether his iv is through or not.  At the hospital, Danelia is still responsible for keeping Kenneth clean, feeding him, taking him to the bathroom plus mopping their own floor and cleaning their own room.  She would rather do all of that at home where she can get the help from other family members.

 There was a huge disagreement about the need for the family to consult with the psychologist.  Danelia and Arturo refused and refused to let the psychologist speak to Kenneth.  Their stance remains that they need someone who can provide spiritual guidance and not psycho-babble…I agree.  The medical professionals think that is a foolish pursuit…Danelia thinks that they’re the fools.  That discussion ended up with the psychologist becoming angry and leaving the doctor’s room and refusing to sign the paperwork that was necessary for Arturo to have for his work.  Childish behavior at best in my mind.  They finally came to an agreement that if Kenneth needed some sort of emergency treatment that could improve the quality of his remaining days, then they were to come to the hospital…if not, then they were to stay home.  So, future appointments are on an as needed basis. 

I would have thought that all of this would have been upsetting to Danelia, but she was probably stronger and more focused than I’ve seen her for some time.  She said that she did not want any more people speaking negativity in to her life or the life of Kenneth and that her faith was stronger than it has ever been.  She said that she knows God has a plan and that she has asked Him what she is to do and He has told her to stay firm in her faith.  She said that she still prays for a miracle but He has not answered that way…He has said that He sees her and He knows what they are facing.  And, she trusts Him. 

She then asked me what I thought she should do with Kenneth and I told her that whatever they decided, it had to be their decision and they had to be comfortable with it, regardless.  If Kenneth would rather be at home and that is what the family wants, then that’s what they should do.  I told her it didn’t matter what others may think that they had to do what was best for their family.  I have no doubt that Danelia knows that his time is limited…but she also knows that she wants to make this limited time count for as much as they can and they don’t feel like they can do that in the hospital.  So, for now, the decision is to keep him at home.

We discussed the new medications that he’s taking and she told me that she’s not supposed to put the disposable diapers back on him for now.  One of the neighbors gave her two, very thin used cotton diapers, one of which she was using under him and the other one was hung up to dry.  The fan that they had was a terrible fan and not moving hardly any air.             

After leaving them on Thursday, we made a quick trip to the Boer Market and we bought a dozen cloth diapers and a good oscillating floor fan which offered various speeds.  We also bought a large box of sterile gauze pads.  On Friday morning, we stopped back by Danelia’s on our way to Somoto.  Susanna had some donations left of non-sterile pads and packing material plus two tubes of the cream for his “burned” area so she sent those things with us, also.

Jim unloaded the items and then got back in the car to stay with Pixie while I went back to check on Kenneth.  Danelia was overcome with emotion when she saw what we had brought her…the tears started but she quickly gained control.  Her sister was there with her and was busy fanning Kenneth with a cloth to keep the flies off of him.  He was laying down on the bed that was moved outside and once again, had on only his t-shirt.  In that position, I was able to see much better, how terribly thin he had become.  He reminded me of pictures I have seen of starving children in Africa but he doesn’t even have the rounded tummy.  The bones in his back, his ribs and his shoulders made me think of the pictures I’ve seen of holocaust victims.  And I was reminded of Yamuleith. 

From that position, I was also able to observe his bottom area where the giant pressure wound still remains.  Danelia removed the pad to show me how much better it looked.  It was true that it wasn’t as deep as it had been at one time, but it was definitely larger around…and other areas were starting to be more evident.  It’s as though what little skin and under-lying tissue that he has left is just dissolving…he truly is wasting away.

I bent over and kissed his cheek and he gave me the weakest smile.  I told him I loved him and he smiled again and he closed his eyes, once again, going to that place he goes to when he shuts out the rest of us.  I didn’t stay long as Jim was waiting in the car but made Danelia promise to call me if there were any significant changes.  She tearfully nodded her head that she would.  I pressed some money in to her hand and told her that would help with making sure he had enough medication to keep him as comfortable as possible.  Again, she nodded her head.  When she hugged me good-bye, she thanked me for all of the things but most of all, for loving her son.  That did it and I began to cry.  I told her that they were like our family and that I loved her children as if they were our own grandchildren.  She said she knew that and that they know that, too.

And then we left.  It was a tearful trip home.  The tears have continued to come off and on since then.   I can’t seem to control them.  I can’t stand seeing Kenneth like this and a part of me is ready to let him go…and yet, the thought of not seeing him again in this life, is too painful to consider right now…but that time is coming and I believe it’s coming very quickly.  Just thinking about that coming day makes my chest constrict and hurt...and it makes the tears come again.    

I have posted several pictures for you.  You can see for yourself how much he has deteriorated in six weeks which is the time span between the two sets of pictures.  But, if you look really hard in to those apparently blank eyes, you can see the sweetest, kindest and most gentle of souls…and if you listen very carefully, you can hear him tell you that he’s fine. And he will be soon. 

            

     

Catching up...

Catch-up time: 

We went out to El Melonar yesterday and delivered the translated letters that some of the FBC Cassville kids had written to students there.  The children were so excited to get a letter with a picture!  They really enjoyed seeing the faces of their new friends.  While there, Prof. Mario also had me work with the kids for a few minutes on their English.  Since this was a surprise, I had nothing planned.  So, I started reviewing the vocabulary that the children had learned from the Creation Story taught by the FBC team a few weeks ago...and those kids were able to respond correctly (or close enough) to almost every question I asked them!  The fact that these kids could still remember something they had not had reviewed with them for a few weeks was so exciting!  We couldn't have been more pumped with this kind of response!

While there, we were able to meet a new student who had just started school the day before.  Keyling is a very quiet young girl who is in the 5th grade and is about 4 weeks behind the other students.  She lives some distance from the school and was not going to attend but Mario had encouraged the family to go ahead and send her.  We told her that when classes resume after Semana Santa (Holy Week which begins tomorrow), that we will have uniforms, school supplies and a backpack waiting for her.  She was so excited!

And…I just realized that I still have to tell you all about the week that the FBC Cassville team was here!  What a great week that was and it was so wonderful to see God working as He was.  I’m going to have to share all of that in another post.  Just not enough time to do so in this one. 

I still have not seemed to have caught up from life during the last few weeks…I’ve actually been pretty tired.  The team came March 3^rd and were here through the 10^th…that week flew by!  We stayed in Managua after taking the team to the airport to tearfully see them off and Jim spent the next two days getting the paperwork for us so that we could leave for Costa Rica to renew our visas.  We left for C.R. on Wednesday and were able to return to Managua that same evening.  I won’t go in to it here but I will say that we sure won’t be doing that again in that way!    

But, one of the positive things we were able to do while at the border, was to bring our friend, Walter and his mother, who live in Rivas, up to one of the hospitals in Managua.  Walter and Faber, another young man whom we’ve gotten to know somewhat, are the two young men we always rely on to help us with the border crossing process on the Nicaraguan side.  What is so amazing is that they always seem to recognize our car and I think they actually remember us because of the questions they ask!  Not quite sure how to interpret that!  J  

Both of the boys are very good with us and because this can be a time-consuming process, I’ve had plenty of opportunity to watch others who work there as they interact with other folks crossing the border.  I’m very thankful that God led us to Walter and Faber three years ago.  And for those of you who have followed us since we’ve arrived, Faber is the young man to whom we once gave a ride back to Rivas and who asked us what a missionary did, which led to a really good conversation with him. 

Okay…back to the story…Walter’s younger brother, José who is 17 years old, had been hit by a semi three weeks before and was still in serious condition.  While we were there at the border, Walter received a call from his mother and she said she needed Walter to leave work and take her on the bus to Managua, that José was not doing well and she felt like they needed to go asap.  Walter and José’s father had been there for the previous few days and it was his mother’s turn to go sit with him.  We offered to give Walter and his mother a ride to Managua which would save them their bus fare.  Walter was so taken aback when I asked if they would like a ride…he called his mother immediately and told her to go to the bus stop on the highway that goes through Rivas and we would come and pick her up on our way home.  I think she must have had to wait several hours before we actually got there.  We thoroughly enjoyed having their company on our trip back to Managua and as we dropped Walter and his mother off in front of the hospital, we also felt led to help the family with the some of the costs they were incurring with meds that were not being provided by the hospital.  It wasn’t much, but we knew that it would be of some help and considered it a privilege to be able to help this family whose son had always gone out of his way to be a help to us.   

Next update…we have a new housekeeper.  Long story short, we felt the need to make a change asap and although this was someone we had met earlier and had decided against at the time for various reasons, we felt that God was definitely moving us in that direction to hire her at this time.  After a lot of prayer, we had made the decision to go ahead and terminate the lady who was not working out for us and to hire Ileana if she was available.  Before I even had the chance to call her to see if she would be interested in a job, she showed up on our doorstep, asking to come to work for us to pay off a small loan we had made to her a few months ago.  That was such an affirmation for us that we were making the right decision as we had not discussed this with anyone else at all! 

And so, Ileana started working for us this past Monday...and oh my goodness!...what a worker she is turning out to be!  We actually had to go out and tell her that it wasn't necessary to sweep the backyard!  A very typical thing to do here but not one that we feel a need to incorporate in to our way of living.  :)  We couldn't be more pleased with the job Ileana is doing.  She's very proactive about finding things to do as she whips through her daily tasks in no time.  I think she does an even better job cleaning than did Margarita and that’s some pretty high praise coming from me at this point.  Several of the things I most appreciate about Ileana are her humility and her honesty.  I'm truly hoping this all works out. 

I wrote last night on Facebook about our unseasonably heavy rain storm and the leaks in our kitchen.  Today, Jim was up on the roof trying to seal any areas he thought might be responsible for the waterfalls coming down our kitchen wall that we experienced last night.  He also cleaned out our gutters so that hopefully, with the next bout of rain, our rear patio won't be so prone to flooding. 

But, what we experienced with water in the kitchen was nothing compared to what Ileana had to deal with.  The storm ruined her outdoor kitchen.  We went over today to look at it and see what we could do to help.  She had mentioned that they would try to cover it with plastic but a wood fire inside a plastic covered enclosure is not a healthy thing to have…and it’s unbelievably hot and uncomfortable with all the smoke that swirls around. 

Jim did some estimating of what it would cost to build a simple structure to cover the cooking area and we told Ileana that we would supply the materials but that her husband and his friends from church would have to supply the labor.  Her husband is a pastor and we're both still a little hesitant to pursue much of a relationship with him at this time based on some past experiences.  But we know that Ileana needs a kitchen (and that term is used loosely here to describe any area where food preparation takes place)and from the looks of the house where they live, it would be a long time before she could ever have anything other than the plastic wrapped around the concrete fire pit...and even that is a questionable reality. 

Ileana thought for a moment and then thanked us profusely for wanting to help…but then very gently and what almost seemed fearfully, she refused our offer!   She said that their landlady is not honest with them, always asking for more money than the agreed upon rent among other things.  Ileana said they don't know if they're going to stay in that house or not and she didn't want us to spend the money for a roof over the outside kitchen when she might not even be able to use it in a month. 

Jim and I discussed some other options and we ended up deciding to get her a 2 burner gas stove top, which is relatively inexpensive and a full tank of gas, which is not.  This is also beyond anything that the family would ever be able to afford to obtain on their own but we felt that it was a viable option as they could take those things with them if they should have to move.  We also bought some plastic plates and bowls so that they could have something to eat out of besides their 3 cooking pans.  I will continue to look for an inexpensive but sturdy set of silverware for them...believe it or not, that's not an easy thing to find here!   

When we came back, Ileana was overwhelmed!  She had never had anything a cook top before.  She has always cooked over an open wood fire and so Jim had to show her how to connect and disconnect the tubing from the gas tank when they're not using it.  They live in a one room house and we want them to be as safe as possible.  He had her practice a few times while we were there so that she would know how to use it.    

Because the only surface they have for the cook top is a small plastic table, the cook top is now sitting on the floor.  The only other furniture that they have is a double bed which Ileana, her husband and Carina, their six-year-old daughter all share, and some plastic chairs.  We are going to be looking for a small simply made, inexpensive wooden table for them plus a similar style small wooden shelving unit so that they have something to put their dishes on and their clothes...which currently sit in a box on a chair.  The size of their wardrobes is far from large, to say the least. 

The house is divided in half by a rope with throws and old shower curtains providing privacy.  The living quarters is on one half of the house and the church, which her husband pastors, meets in the other half. Her house was clean...but then, when there's not much in the way of belongings, it doesn't take long to pick up...and there's practically nothing to dust.  I realized as I looked around that this family lives probably as sparsely as any family I've encountered.  Even many of the poorer families we have worked with in Tipitapa, Cristo Rey and Los Cedros had more in the way of belongings than this family does.  I saw Ileana's "groceries" sitting in a bowl in another chair and saw that they were going to be having spaghetti tonight...mixed with a packet of ketchup.  I can't shake that image.  They did have a small old tube style television that I’m sure someone had given them.  That’s what was sitting on the plastic table.  The other thing I noticed was that there were no toys for Carina.  If I didn’t know that they had her, it would have been almost impossible to determine so just by glancing around.  Only a few pieces of laundry hung to dry on the barbed wire fence out back and her baby picture leaning against a wall were the only indications that there was a child who lived there.  That will probably have to change at least a  little along with a few other things!  :)   

Ileana's house is a very neatly kept small government built house and is one of a string of them built side by side and back to back in a neighborhood behind the city cemetery.  It has the one relatively good sized room and a raised tin roof for ventilation along with a concrete floor.  There are a couple of windows and both a front and a back door.  The outhouse and shower are very basic structures with just a piece of material serving as the covering for privacy and are right behind their house.  And of course, the outdoor kitchen is useable in good weather although it sits in full sun much of the day and would be very hot to stand out there to cook over.     

I have to tell you that my instinct is to "fix" this for this family.  To fill their house with "stuff".  To make their house more comfortable.  And...for whom would I do this?  If I were honest, I would say for me.  Their poverty makes me uncomfortable to see.  It's hard for me to realize or to accept that this is how they have lived most of their lives.  I think that there are so many things that would ease the hardness and difficulties of life for them and I want to jump in there and provide them all.  But that's not necessarily the best thing to do. 

They are my Christian brothers and sisters...and I am called to help them.  And that's exactly why we didn't do all the other things today that my flesh cried out to do.  I want to help them with things that matter...not with things that don't.  And so, we will proceed cautiously with this assistance, but I have no doubt that we will proceed...we just want to do it wisely and as God would have us to do.  Today was payday for Ileana...and that's a start.  A steady income.  That’s not something they’ve had for a long, long time.  And she now has a place to cook when the rains come again and she has some nice, plastic dishes for tonight's spaghetti.  I want to do more.  God says it's enough for today.